“I know you believe you understand what you think I said. But I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” Have you ever started a discussion about something you are feeling or wanting only to be misunderstood? Or worse yet, to have it escalate into a shouting match? I have – I suspect everyone has. Interacting with another person on emotional issues, strong desires or divergent beliefs can be challenging. Misunderstandings can happen easily.
Would you like to learn a way to freely express yourself without the conversation escalating and taking on a life of its own? My suggestion: use the Power of Writing.
There is a growing body of scientific evidence to suggest that writing has value for personal growth also and not just with interpersonal communication. “Writing about oneself can improve mood disorders, help reduce symptoms among cancer patients, improve a person’s health after a heart attack, reduce doctor visits and even boost memory. There is even evidence that writing and re-writing your story can change the way you feel about yourself and the way you behave.”(Source: The New York Times).
To see how the Power of Writing might work in untangling emotions and relationships, let’s look at a hypothetical situation. Let’s say that you are trying to figure out why someone you are close to seems to be pulling away.
1)The Power of Writing would start with you writing down everything – and I mean EVERYTHING. Just “spew” it all out on paper – no need to hold back any of your strong or negative emotions. If you need to use profanity, use profanity. Write everything down that you can think of about what you have seen and heard that makes you think your special person is pulling away. Go into what you think about this and how you feel about it. You can write this as though it is a letter to that special person. BUT since I am encouraging you to write EVERYTHING, I would encourage you NOT to give it to that person at this stage.
2)The second stage of this writing exercise would be to read and re-read your letter so as to make it clear to yourself exactly what you are feeling. Think about what you’ve written to help you understand your own reactions to the other person’s actions.
3)At this next stage, you decide whether or not you wish to send this letter to the other person or whether you will use it only as a way to help yourself. If you decide to send it, you will want to rewrite it to make sure it says exactly what you want it to say – without being harsh or accusatory – and with profanity removed. Take your time – that is a value of writing – it can be done thoughtfully and in your own time frame.
4)If you are successful in communicating your feelings in this way, it is likely that the other party will respond in kind. Of course, you can always ask in your letter that the other person take some time and respond back to you in writing. This will give the other person an opportunity to explain the actions that concerned you – perhaps there is a perfectly logical and innocent explanation that you wouldn’t know about otherwise.
Unfortunately sometimes you may have written a thoughtful letter to someone who doesn’t respond at all to it. Since you have no control over that, you will have to be satisfied with what you learned about yourself and with knowing that you have done what you can to keep open lines of communication between you. The lack of response can also be seen as a negative response – in which case, perhaps it is time to move on.
Using the Power of Writing has many benefits. It will help you to release emotions and feelings that may otherwise be kept inside. In addition to helping you understand how you’re feeling, it may provide answers to why you are feeling this way. And if you decide to share a revised letter with your loved one, it will be a way to let you express yourself in a calm manner, without the escalation that may come if you tried to say these things in person. Finally, it will allow the other party to respond in a calm manner as well.
From my perspective as a psychic reader, I frequently recommend the Power of Writing to clients who come to me for help in figuring out what to do with a life decision or in a relationship. While a psychic can provide valuable guidance for a client about what will benefit them, the psychic reader can’t make the decisions – it is up to the client to make decisions about their priorities. Writing can be an invaluable method to help you find your priorities. Once you know where you want to go, a psychic reading can be of assistance in helping to determine what the best method of getting there will be.
The Power of Writing – try it! It will help you to understand yourself better, encouraging personal growth. And it can help to improve relationships with anyone that you care about, providing interpersonal growth as well.
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