Are You Being Bullied?

By Ann: Being bullied makes you feel lonely, different, fearful, rejected, and unloved.

As a child, it can stay with you right through your adult years.  My mother taught me “sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt me”. They did hurt though, and words can hurt very much. It can teach you to stand up for yourself and be strong and brave, but a tiny hurt stay with you forever. Children can be very cruel to each other, and bullying makes you feel like a target. It is okay to be different and an individual and not a crowd pleaser. Bring popular is just a mask to hide behind. Bullies are usually hiding something and are the ones with the problem.

Lessons learned from being bullied are compassion, empathy, and kindness and never to become a bully yourself. Bullies are only tough in a group and on their own they are usually weak.

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Some people experience PTSD and need counselling. Today, bullying can come in the form of social media which not only affects children and teenagers, but also adults and celebrities and many have sadly ended their life due to this.

Depression, anxiety, eating disorders, low self-esteem and personality disorders sadly can be a result of bullying. This can stay with you and effect relationships by fearing rejection.

When a relationship breaks down or you are ignored, it feels like being bullied all over again. When a friend or loved one brushes you off, the feelings come flooding back and the loneliness and rejected feelings come back. Sometimes you don’t realize why this feeling is there or where it comes from and why you feel so vulnerable. Bullying is not always someone saying mean things to you. Bullying can be physical, verbal, social, cyber, exclusion, sexual, prejudicial, manipulation, being a fake friend. Giving someone the silent treatment is a form of bullying. This can happen in the workplace through job jealousy, competitiveness to gain the upper hand. It can happen in many different relationships and friendships to be passive aggressive rather than being honest and this is called covert bullying by invalidating the person quietly. Overt bullying is openly belittling someone.

It is helpful to know you are not alone and it is not your fault. Stay calm because bullies love to get a rise out of you. Once you recognize this behavior keep your distance and stay calm. If at work keep a journal and report the problem. Bullies never accept responsibility and think they are never wrong. Find nicer people to be around and don’t blame yourself for their behavior.

The bully may be afraid and use bullying as a front of bravado to appear tough. The one being bullied can develop emotional walls to protect themselves so no one can ever hurt them again. Adults can develop a victim mentality, so they need to realize they did not ask for this and it is not their fault. Learn what your strengths are and what you are, avoid isolation and seek counselling and support from family and friends. Learn to hold your head up high even though you may feel small inside, but self-confidence can ward off bullies and shows their true colors. Teenagers and adults can be bullies by either physical abuse, unruly neighbors’ high-pressure salespersons, by belittling, humiliating, unwanted personal contact, ridiculing jokes, public shaming, personal insults. Bullying is usually learned at home from a parent or older sibling, the good news is this behavior can be unlearned. Bullying is not cool it is very mean. The world needs more empathy and kindness.

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Love and Light,

Ann

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Ann
Ease your mind. Certified psychic/life coach & healer.
Ann

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