Many times you want to hear a loved one passed and the Angels for guidance or even someone living your dog’s needs or a child’s needs.
Often the case is you think you hear what they say hasn’t that happened to you that someone has said something to you and it came out distorted and it wasn’t what they said this happens a lot in history and today’s world this is what causes wars and separation from partners and families and children.
Sad really this happens but the truth is it does and it creates divorces , separation and loss of friendships and the list goes on, we can all fall under this umbrella so you are not alone but it is time to change and all it takes is to fine tune you in a higher level state then a worldly state it is time to hear and wake up and realises that other people are not wrong you do not hear them and they do not hear you because people are only interested in self and why this happens when you are so absorbed myself you cannot see anything but self.
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Often why your partner does not hear right is the tone of voice you use and they go in the defensive then they fire back at you with words and you end up getting hurt as much as they are think about it if you yell at a dog they know straight way they have done something wrong and this is by tone of voice when you are quietly spoken and you want to get your point across there are ways to say this and once you have fine tuning like a radio then you can hear everything but you need to learn this.
This is counselling views
1. What is likely to occur when a person is overcome with anxiety?
They can easily be prompted into making hasty decisions which they would not usually make. They often regret these choices and have suffered through the consequences.
2. How can a counsellor be of assistance to a person at such a time?
A counsellor can assist be making their client’s thoughts and feelings clearer so they can understand the situation and make decisions for themselves. This could also help them make changes that will benefit their lifestyle.
3. State Prochaska and DiClimenti’s stages of change.
Stage 1: Not interested in change. (Precontemplation)
The client does not see a reason to change their behaviour
Stage 2: Thinking about change. (Contemplation)
The client is becoming aware of the benefits of change/ the risks of not changing.
Stage 3: Preparing to change. (Determination)
They see benefit in changing, and believe they are now able. They now need the know-how, support and
tools to be able to change.
Stage 4: Making Changes. (Action)
This is when clients start living differently, and take action that will change old behavioural
patterns. The client needs goals, planning, support and rewards.
Stage 5: Maintaining Change. (Maintenance)
Old patterns have changed. New patterns have been established, and constant support is required to avoid relapsing, so that the new behavioural patterns can remain and improve the client’s lifestyle.
4. What do we see as being necessary for certain clients in the action stage of change?
A clear goal, realistic planning, support, and rewards is necessary for clients in the ‘Action’ stage who are breaking away from old behavioural patterns.
5. Identify the process of the maintenance stage of change.
The old behavioural patterns are broken. The client is settling into his new, changed behaviour. The client is no longer undergoing a process of change, but rather sustaining a new way of living. This is often difficult, and may take time. Support and vigilance is required to avoid a relapse.
6. When relapse does occur what action should the counsellor take?
The counsellor reassures that relapse is a normal occurrence. The cycle of the five stages in them repeated.
7. State the eliciting phase skills.
Always ask open-ended questions.
-allow client to elaborate. Not yes/no.
Frequently and accurately reflect back what client has said
Supportive statements of understanding appreciation
Aid client in hearing self- motivational statements.
Show client you have been listening by reinforcing and linking said information
8. Give the framework for the general approach.
Allow client to feel accepted, safe, being attentively and sincerely listened to in a non robotic manner.
Understanding the difference between current client behaviour and goals is key for change.
Arguing forms a barrier between client and counsellor, and does not create an environment in which the client will open up.
Roll with Resistance.
Resistance helps you to know when to change tactics
Support of Self Efficacy
The client is responsible for his/her achievement of goals and change
Belief that the client has the ability is important
9. What are seen as the points of focus during the negotiation phase?
What the client wants to change
The goal of change
The means of achieving the goal
Where to begin
Empathy is the ability to feel as the client does.
This allows the counsellor to identify and understand the client’s problem and identify what is needed to assist the client into solving the problem.
Motivational interviewing helps the client identify and understand their issues for themselves, and then reach a point in which decisions can be made by the client to take action, discontinue old behavioural patterns and maintain his/her new positive behaviour.
Empathy is paramount in being able help the client through the process of positive change. Its purpose is so that the counsellor can effectively understand and identify the client’s problem, and identify the best method in helping the client achieve their goals.
So you see everything in life is listening how are you going to do this unless you learn how to and live a free life and not hearing things that are really not said I have listened to Angels all my life and the higher realms to be a good counsellor you have to listen . Active listening and to be a good at all things you only learn by listening thank you for taking the time to read this article if you have any questions call me I am here to help you