Brahmavihara – The Four Exalted States

By Ernst: Brahmavihara, or the four exalted states of the mind are:

1- Metta: love for everyone; the hope that everyone is doing well

2- Karuna: compassion; the hope that the suffering of all beings is reduced

3- Mudita: the altruistic joy in the deeds and actions of others Page break

4- Upekkha: equanimity; learning to accept loss and gain, praise and blame, success and failure, without attachment, both for yourself and for others

Upekkha; learning to accept

Upekkha is nicely illustrated by the following story of the Taoist farmer:
Once upon a time there was a poor farmer, he only had a son and an old horse.
One day that old horse runs away, and his neighbors come to express their condolences:
‘How terrible you were already so poor and now your horse also runs away’
To the amazement of the neighbors, the farmer says: “It will be allright.”
A week later the old horse returns with a large herd of wild horses.
The neighbors now come to congratulate the farmer on the fact that he is now a rich man.

To the surprise of the neighbors, the farmer says again: ‘It will be allright’
The son mounts a wild horse, and is thrown off, breaking his leg.
The neighbors come to express their condolences and find it terrible.
To the dismay of the neighbors, the farmer says again: “It will be allright.”
War breaks out, the son does not have to fight because of his broken leg.
The neighbors come to congratulate the farmer again. And the farmer says again: ‘It will be allright!’.

The farmer lived according to at least one of the four exalted conditions, named ‘Upekkha’. Or equanimity and serenity. He fully accepts life with its ups and downs and does not let them determine his mood, as the neighbors did.

Metta; love for everyone

Metta, or love for everyone, is a value that you can make yours and that determines and gives direction to your feelings, thoughts, actions and being.

Thoughts and feelings, just like clouds in the sky will pass. They come and go. Sometimes you like someone and a little later you hate him. If you can disidentify from your thoughts and feelings, you can allow your behavior to be determined by the fixed value that is love. That is the bright sky behind the clouds. In ACT or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy they call it Defusion of your thoughts and feelings, don’t let them control you. You have thoughts, but they don’t define you for you are not your thoughts. You have feelings, but again they do not define you for you are not your feelings. They also mention this in psychosynthesis.

Karuna; compassion

Karuna, or your compassion may be compassion instead of pity, the latter makes the person affected feel guilty for making you suffer and will no longer share his or her feelings.

Compassion also means that you do not comfort the other person too quickly. By doing so you implicitly say that the other person’s sadness should not be there, ask if they want an arm around them or if they would rather feel and process their sadness.

Mudita; wishing the success and well-being of others

Mudita means that you are not jealous and envious of the success of others, but that you wish it wholeheartedly, empathize and even contribute to the well-being and success of others. This will also have a positive influence on your own well-being!