By Sheri: We have all gone through our life blaming others for our misfortunes, but taking credit for the good things in our life. It does not work that way. Each one of us, creates our own reality from the time we are old enough to call ourselves an adult.
There are things that happen in life that have created who each one of us is at this moment. There are things that have molded us like clay. However, when we blame others for the negative aspects in our lives, it simply means that we have not let go of hurtful energies and carrying them forward, creates more pain to come in, more negativity to come in and at times walls that just cannot be crossed by others.
This happens a lot in love. Someone leaves us, hurts us as we thought ‘he/she was the one’. The hurt is there, and that is normal. However, holding onto this hurt, not forgiving the hurt and releasing and cutting the cord to the other person, that holds us stuck in our path and creates walls that others cannot come through. Those that do come through, suffer, because of the jealousy or smothering that goes on because of what someone else did to us. To be free and clear for a new relationship, the past must stay there.
I had a client call me a while back and could not understand why no one asked her on a second date. I asked what her last relationship was like and she had a lot of anger (almost to the point of hatred) and hurt that was in her heart. Then I asked her what purpose that holding onto this held? What did it feed in her? What was the good she was getting from it? She said, there is nothing good. He broke my heart, he cheated, he lied, he disrespected me, he this and that. I then asked her if she brought her ex up on dates with new people. Well, the answer of course, because I want them to know what an (bad word) he was and how he treated me’. My answer to her was simply, ‘you are 100% for creating your own reality and every time you bring that third person into your date, you are saying, you don’t want to give that person a chance to get to know the good side of you. You are bringing the negative and creating a negative impression.’
I gave her some exercises to release the feelings she had with her ex. She was very angry when I said she had to forgive him and release him. She did not have to like what he did, however deep inside this was not the first time he messed around, in fact, he was messing around with her when he was with another and eventually the other left him and he came to her until he got bored and started the cycle again. She felt she could change him because they loved each other. No, that does not happen. She knew what she had but was clouded by thinking she was in love and allowing herself to compromise with him in the first place. It was a hard lesson to learn.
After she reluctantly did the steps I gave her, and truly did it from the heart and soul, she felt lighter inside and the walls came down that prevented true love from coming in. She is now happily married and understand that the choice she made to hold onto the ex, prevented her from having the true person she was meant to be with. The moment she understood, took the steps and let go, the lightness left. The next date, it was about her and the gentleman she was with and no one else. She created a new reality and it was the best possible result.
You alone are responsible for the choices you make in life and the reality that follows those choices so be clear on the life you wish to live and choose with clearness of heart, not to hurt another, clearness of soul and with a loving smile on your face. The choices I have made and examined, have created my reality and good or bad, it was for a purpose. Now I choose good and my reality, is amazing.
Blessings to you always,