The normal process of reacting to a loss.
Grief is one of the things we feel when we have lost something or someone in our lives. This can be through death, a break up or even a job loss. The emotion around this is something we need to let go of.
When we lose someone through death and we are the ones dealing with all the arrangements we try to stay strong, especially as other people fall down around us. This is then not giving us time to grieve ourselves.
If our loss is through a relationship breakup we then usually stay as strong as possible, even at times hoping that the person who left will come back. Instead of accepting it is over we try to control and manipulate to either have it back or to hurt the other person even though you know it is toxic you want it back.
When our loss is through loss of employment we ask ourselves, where did I do wrong, could I have done my job better, is it my fault that this happened.
When we start holding in the emotions surrounding what has happened to us we are not doing ourselves any favours and the more we hold in it the more toxic and harder it is to move on. Also holding it in can make us sick, we can have headaches, constantly catching a cold, lack of energy, lethargy, loss of appetite and even sometimes too of much appetite as we use food to counteract the grief.
All this is not doing us favours and the more we hold it in the more we need to let out. There will come a time in the process that nothing you do will stop you from letting it out. The more we hold in the more we have to remove. When you do finally explode though it can really take you by surprise.
Without realising it all the emotions that you have held in can come out in waves, the anger, the frustration, the sadness, the overwhelming guilt you may feel, the what did I do wrong, why did this end, what could I have done better, is it all my fault, why did they treat me the way they did etc, etc.
When this comes out it comes straight from the solar plexus and double you over with the overwhelming feeling of it, but the one we thing we never do is allow ourselves to have these emotions, we never allow ourselves to let it out. Because we are told, that we cannot fall apart, that our upbringing will not allow us to show the emotion.
One thing we need to remember is that we are allowed to have the emotion, we are allowed to double over with it, and we are allowed to let it out. When this happens we blame ourselves because we broke down. Remember, when we are broken, we need to fix ourselves and letting out the emotion is the best way to it.
When death happens, this is not our fault, when a breakup happens remember it can take two for this (and we usually have many other involved as well, called the negative forces, these create separation) and when we lose a job it not necessarily your fault.
JUST REMEMBER THE MORE WE HOLD IN THE MORE TOXIC IT CAN BE!
Love and Light
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