By Gertrude: The first thing that is a vital key in romantic unions is that your intentions mirror. One of the first steps to a successful relationship is that we are honest and clear about our intentions. This is where our communication skills are put to the test.
The first thing to remember is that when someone says they are not ready for a relationship. Believe them. Even if they are lying. For many of us, it is difficult for us to wear our hearts on our sleeves. It makes us vulnerable.
Sometimes it is easier to shield ourselves. So we go into love alliances guarded. As women, we have a social generation where we feel we have to be the cool chicks. Telling a prospective partner that you are happy being single, career-focused and happy in your own skin. Now all of that can be true. However, also saying that right now you are just wanting someone to hang out with. Instead of saying, I’m looking to get married and settle down.
We can be free, strong independent courageous women. That doesn’t mean that we don’t desire to be in a loving relationship. However, because of social norms, we suppress that. Or don’t admit to it. Fearing we look weak.
You have so much courage if you can truly look into someone’s eyes and say what it is you are looking for. Now that is not to say that it isn’t awkward. And the truth is that some men will run a mile. But what you are doing is teaching that person how to treat you.
First impressions are everything. And it is time for those of us wanting to be fearless, to reach the highest level of professional, personal, soulful and spiritual success. To also be proud to say what we want romantically.
Much of my personal knowledge comes from the men who come to me for consultations. So I have a deep understanding of what many men are looking for. We expect honesty from them and so therefore we have to begin any connection with that same value. Remember like attracts like.
I have also found that the majority of men will always be honest when he says he’s not looking for a relationship. That is the foundation of what is to come next. So this is not a time for illusions. Rather a time for nurturing and protecting your values and boundaries.
I really want to work with you so that you can make the most out of 2021. Being in a modern world doesn’t mean that we don’t have old-fashioned values. Traditional values that create harmony within our lives as we fulfil our goals. This doesn’t negate the fact that the modern woman can also declare what it is she wants. None of that is compromised.
I would love to give you some tips that I have learned over the years for looking at someone’s intentions.
1. Facial Expressions. When you are talking to someone it is true that you can see it in how they look at you. Their facial expressions when you talk to them. Does it show that they are engaged and present? Often our emotional history is etched on our faces.
2. Intuitive Empathy. Is the person showing that they are empathetic and know when to comfort you or support you automatically? In other words, you don’t have to remind them or tell them how you need to be treated.
3. Tone of Voice. It is always important to notice someone’s tone of voice. Is it warm and encouraging? Is there interest in asking questions in a supportive way? Do they listen to you, when you are speaking?
4. Touch. The type of touch is important. This doesn’t mean that someone needs to be demonstrative. More so in a hand gesture. Light touches. Supportive gestures to help you. Making sure you are physically safe.
5. Appearance. While it is always important to be comfortable to enjoy your own sense of fashion. What is important is that someone has taken the time to make sure they are at their best for you. It doesn’t require dressing up. That they have made an effort for you.
6. Trust your intuition. Your intuition is fed by many things. In the first sense of what that person is saying. Is it what they are doing? It is in their ambitions. So we use our life skills to encourage our intuition to become healthy. A red flag is a red flag by any other name or action.
7. ASK! This is not the time to pretend. The biggest decision you will ever make is who you fall in love with. So this is important. Vitally important. Your heart is there to keep you going to hold all the love and fear you encounter. Respect it. If it is hurting then you need to look at what changes are in order to heal it and bring it JOY.
Love and Light,