By Ann: We are all looking for a relationship that we want to be in and how it is not going to plan. He/she is not moving forward when you want this to happen and he/she is not calling you or texting you? Then you think the other person does not love you, does not care about you and you feel rejected and frustrated and disappointed and you ask yourself, “Why is he/she doing this to me?”
The truth is, you are doing this to you. Can I ask you; is there only one man or woman on this planet earth?
Does he/she have to do as they are told or do you have this expectation? Example, I was brought up to have manners and I would not do this to him/her. Yes, but this is you! He/she does not do the same pattern. You have the other person. You are in love. You didn’t feel the need to call and text and move forward at that time. Even though you are beating yourself up over this, you can keep this very simple.
“I love him so much and he is not calling me, nor is not texting me. It shows he does not love me and he does not want to be with me. We dated for 3 months. He was not like this in the beginning. He was all over me and he wanted to see me all the time and he was texting me two or three times a day. How can he be in love with me when he has already changed?”
Keep it simple. You do not know why he has been distant. You do not know why he has been this way. Everybody wants to be a mind reader. But this is so true; everybody thinks the worse before giving the guy time to snap out of his behavior.
He can be having work issues and financial issues also family issues or he could have got cold feet because he felt that he would not have freedom in the relationship. This can happen also if you are waiting for a woman and she has gone distant the same answer applies.
By keeping this simple understands that you cannot own another human being. They are with you out of their own free will, because they want to be, not because they are told to be.
Another example is arranged marriages. It is controlled by the family, their culture and if the two people are not happy with one another and do not find each other attractive they still must get married. This is totally different to traditional relationships.
This can happen, we all like to control and if we do not get what we want there and then we then make matters worse and sabotage everything. You call him/her up and chase them. Cry on the phone, get angry with them and finish it. If the other person wants space you think automatically rejection from him or her. Did you ever think that the person just wants their own time and by not reacting and keeping it simple? Because you are an individual and you are not dependent on your partner. If you are dependent on your partner, this will make them feel they have an anchor around their neck and they will run because after a while, they cannot carry your load and meet your demands and they will feel like a slave and they will just move on.
There is always a better way to handle someone that has gone quiet and not calling and not texting you.
Keep it simple. Do not become a mind reader, do not think the worst, give the person space after all, if they are not calling or texting they have backed off a little due to circumstances in their own life. Keep yourself busy as well and do not hassle them, do not finish it with them, do not react, Always leave a time-frame of three weeks. 21 days to turn around. Then after the 21 days, if these has not turned around you, then, call him and ask him is everything okay? Thinking of you, keep it simple. No pressure. Until He /She is ready to open to you.
Adapt the attitude that you cannot make anyone be with you. Want them to be with you because they love you not because you have made them feel guilty and feel sorry for you.
If you have any questions I am more than happy to help.
Hugs and Love,