By Magdalene: A “Knight in Shining Amour” comes into our lives and the world is brighter. A “Damsel in Distress” and a good caring man rush in to save the day. Society has manipulated us into believing in fairy tales. Fairy tales are not reality and the sooner we realize this and become aware of what we are here for, the more peaceful our lives will be.
This is Earth School and we came here to learn. I believe the patterns that we repeat will come here with us again, each lifetime until we pass the course. Love 101 seems to be the hardest course for most humans to graduate from. Isn’t it funny how dogs seem to have it down pat? Do you understand what dogs “get” that we don’t? How to stay in the moment! They love us so unconditionally because that means living in the precious present.
Since we know school is about learning, we must figure out the lessons and sometimes they are excruciatingly painful. What if the man perfect for you looks nothing like the handsome men you are always attracted to? What if the shy and nervous woman is the one that will hold your heart tenderly, since they know what loneliness feels like? You say, “well, there has to be chemistry”. I said it and it’s such an old cliché’ that everyone seems to have bought into. What you don’t understand is what we call chemistry is simply hormones we were born with to procreate. Yes, this is chemistry at a basic level, but it doesn’t mean this person is good for you. He carries the sperm to fertilize your egg or vice versa. It is that basic and simple!
What you truly need and what you want are very much at odds with each other. The person that will teach you the most will probably be the exact opposite of everything you think you desire.
Most of us carry huge amounts of unresolved emotional baggage from childhood, previous lifetimes and relationships that we keep cycling through in this lifetime. Now, because we have jumped too soon and had our heart shattered trust is at the core of the lesson you need to learn.
Many of us, male and female, focus on the really attractive people for our desires. Do you not think that those people are constantly getting attention and offers from several others? How will that build up your trust?
So often we hear from our friends and we have said it ourselves “Oh, I liked her or him, but there was no chemistry” only after one date! One meeting or date does not allow you to know how the two of you would be together. Both are nervous, on best behavior and probably awkward. Time is what is most crucial and nothing long term will survive without it.
Those of us up in age have learned that real love takes time and a sincere investment. When you choose a person that is good for you, it’s not just to procreate. I think our population is quite large enough already. At first you might think you have made the biggest mistake of your life. There may be plenty of arguing and trauma as you both let those walls down and show each other who you truly are. The true sign of finding your “real” Valentine is endurance and communication. You realize no matter how bad the fight is you both really want to work on things. Both people in the couple try to keep steady contact, even briefly every day.
When he or she doesn’t respond to messages or phone calls. There is your big sign. You are not a priority. Now this is true of course only if you are not bombarding this person with insecurity and they can’t keep up. They will use you if that persists, but you will not have a true partner for the future. All of these character traits will show up in time. What is sad on the larger scale is many people can’t seem to control their urges of desperation to allow the length of time needed to reveal what is true in the other person. Desperation is never attractive.
We must consistently be protective of who we are and what we chose for our future. The gorgeous guy or gal that has the money and all the right things to say probably is not the one that is going to be dedicated to you in the long run. We all need to stop believing the hype through the media of appearance and charm being what we seek in a partner. This is another example of the media pretending to exhibit reality. Take a look at Hollywood and how many solid relationships do we see? I have witnessed in my own life how the ones with the perfect looks and all the right words to say, are using those same lines on many women. Time, dedication and respect are needed for love to flourish which gives us the ability to grow.
Maybe your “real” Valentine will not arrive in the package you expect? We must allow the time and while dating, make sure we listen and observe. It won’t take long to see if the dedication is there. Please remember not to pursue someone that is not making the time to pursue you.
I have personally witnessed couples that seemed so the opposite of one another, finally get it right after a few years. It takes at least two years to know someone. Through those years they both became better people. It was not easy for them. The key was they were both committed to growing and learning.
This is why we are here. Every day, in every way we are in Earth School. So remember it’s not the wrapping on your Valentine that you are going to build a future with… but what lies inside the package. It’s not the easy courses in school you learn the most from. We grow the most from tough experiences.
If there is no one in your life at the moment, please remember the most important person is YOU! Celebrate yourself this Valentine’s Day and every day. You are growing, and Earth School can be challenging, so be gentle with yourself and as I always say “the First love is Self Love.”
Love and Light,