You are stuck in between a rock and a hard spot. You know that you are unhappy but you worry more about being alone. This is such a common scenario when it comes to relationships. Here is a list of top ten reasons to stay and top ten reasons to go:
You know you are where you need to be when:
1. He/she makes time for you
2. He/she compliments you
3. He/she makes you feel confident in who you are
4. He/she cares unconditionally
5. He/she does things for you to make you happy
6. He/she considers your feelings and tries to give you validation
7. He/she is a reflection of your love
8. He/she is there when you need them
9. He/she puts you first and defends you to others
10. He/she not only tells you but shows you they care
If you are settling for less than any of these ten reasons then you are not being true to yourself because being in love is about feeling you are both getting the best end of the deal. As my mother would say you both need to feel as if you won the lottery!
But other times you are with someone that just is not in the relationship as much as you are.
Ten reasons to go are:
1. He/she never has time for you
2. He/she never compliments you or rarely does
3. He/she belittles you to make themselves look bigger and in control
4. He/she lacks in caring about your feelings. There is conditions to the relationship
5. He/she makes you cry and be depressed more than smile *****
6. He/she gives no validation causing you to be insecure all the time
7. He/she reflects badly on you
8. He/she is never there when you need them. Always busy with other things and other people
9. He/she never defends you but joins in when people talk against you
10. He/she hardly shows or not at all that they care
Relationships are about being honest and having trust. If you have no trust you have no relationship. You need to know when there are red flags so that you can avoid getting hurt and being stuck on a “waiting” train where you are the one moping and they are the one doing as they please. In love there are no excuses, no doubts, and no lies. So often than not people sit in hopes of someone changing for the better and hold on to only end up miserable the entire time. If someone is not moving mountains to be with you…….then they are not meant to be. The saying is so true, “If you love someone let them go and if they come back its meant to be but if not say goodbye.” The fears of being lonely should never overcome the fear of being taken for granted. If you ever doubt where you are in your relationship the best advice is to open your heart and write down the pros and cons of staying together and trust me the answers will start to appear before you. Also the most important thing to remember is that if you don’t love yourself FIRST, then you cannot love another. A man or woman is not the key to happiness, a man or woman is a bonus to your happiness if with the right one.
So stop sulking and hold your head high because saying goodbye to someone that makes you MISERABLE gives you opportunity to meet the one that will make you MAGNIFICENT!
By: Counselor Karen