By Bridgette: Addiction is unhealthy and an unhelpful behavior that needs something outside of itself in order to feel a sense of connectedness. Some kinds of addictions are sex, love, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, food, porn, gambling, internet, shopping etc.
What I know from personal experience, is that if we don’t have the thing that we are addicted to, it can quite literally feel like we are dying. This is how one can tell the difference between addiction and desire. Desire is something that we wish for, but if we don’t have it, we are still okay. Addiction is something that we need, and if we don’t have it we are not okay. It is far healthier to desire something, than to need it. We may understand that the thing we need is not helpful or unhealthy for us, but on an emotional level, we cannot stop the needy behavior, it is like, there is a suction that pulls us towards that thing and no matter what happens, we have to have it. There is gratification at that point of connection to that thing but it rarely lasts long and leaves us needing more.
In order to heal an addiction or dis-empowering behavior, we need to uncover the “root” cause of it. In order to get rid of weeds in the garden, there is no point in cutting the weeds above the ground and expect the weeds to disappear, we need to dig deep and pull out all the roots, in order to stop the growth completely.
Mostly this is unpleasant, but it is the only way to release unhealthy or needy behavior for good. We may need to cut back little by little to begin with, as the root may be very deep and eventually through the cutting back the roots can become to reveal itself and we can begin to pull it out and get rid of it completely. Because the root cause of any addiction is buried in the emotional body, it is essential that we understand the addiction at the level of the emotional body and not just the mental body. We need to understand what the underlying emotional need is and why it is there in order to release that negative experience and re-integrate that aspect of ourselves that disassociated at that time. From the perspective of a Healer-Shaman, when someone experiences trauma/shock, a deeply negative experience. A part of the soul of that being may temporally leave the body in order to preserve itself. The Shaman/Psychic calls this “soul-loss”, the psychological term for this is dissociation, the more soul-parts that each being loses, the bigger the hole- the bigger the need to find oneself. There are many reasons why we may lose soul parts, here are just a few examples (these could be real or perceived):
• Separation & Loss
• Shock / Trauma
• Premature maturity(needing to grow up)
• A need or Codependent relationship
• Parent-child-sibling-sibling relationship
• Conformity / social pressures.
So with this to reconnect back with the lost soul parts, confusion occurs and we begin to search for the connection to ourselves externally, and through this external seeking, addiction and dis-empowering behavior can occur. Just to stop an addictive behavior is not enough to release it, If someone stops an addiction without releasing the root cause of it, they will become, what I call”a transference addict. The person will find something else to fill the void, for instance, they could become addicted to work-coffee or to helping other people to the detriment of themselves. in many cases these transference behavior are much healthier and a much better option than the original addiction, and can be a helpful stepping stone to full recovery. Addiction can be released. I do not believe that “once an addict- always an addict”, any perpetual acknowledgement of identifying oneself with anything holds a person in a state of compliance with the vibration of that behavior. Addiction is no different. Of course we must not deny what is true for us, but we must be careful how we identify ourselves to the particular behavior. A much healthier acknowledgement would be something like I have experience a challenge (the addiction) in the past, or I am experiencing a challenge (addiction) at the moment, this creates a space between yourself and the action, thus removing your identity from it.
Thus, identifying the feelings that you are seeking through that addiction. Once you are identifying the feelings that you are seeking through that addiction, you are beginning to gain a peek at what your soul feels it’s lacking, It is from this space that you’re beginning to cut the tops of those weeds off.
However, in order to release the experience that you are holding in your emotional body, it is helpful to take this to a Professional therapist/Spiritual healer who can direct and hold that “space” for you, In many ways they can help us to feel that we are not alone in our suffering. If you are experiencing challenge with the addictive behavior, the worst thing you can do is think there is something wrong with you or berate yourself, this causes further disconnection from your self and this is the last thing you want to do. A healthier reaction is to be kind to yourself and remind yourself, that you are a spiritual being who is looking for connection and you are doing the best you can with the tools you have at the moment. The true realization of the divine is an ongoing journey into the self, which touches the infinite in unimaginable ways. It is a fairy tale to expect the magical transformation over night.
But with each layer of confusion, we remove the sense of depth and connection to self and the divine is so blissful, it is indescribable And it is from this space where the true connections rest.
Love, Light and Namaste,