By Brenda: Do you feel like your relationship is at a crossroads? That it needs to go forwards or take an exit stage left? A relationship that has reached this point is ready to either open up to new commitments and possibilities or it is time to do yourself a favor and move on.
This sounds easy and logical, but it never is. Partly because love relationships are full of hope, passion and expectations and we want to believe in true and lasting love. Often the connections that we make with a love interest are karmic with a strong, inexplicable pull that tells us that this must be it, our soulmate and life partner for all time. Love relationships go through many stages: the initial attraction, the fun and the rose colored glasses phase where your new love is very attentive both physically and emotionally. The next phase is when you start to really trust and be comfortable with each other and settle in as a couple. After several weeks and months the relationship will reach a crossroads, a place in which it either has to move forward or fade away. Before you get to this crossroads there are several signposts along the way. These signs can tell the direction in which the relationship is really going and what you need to pay attention to and what can be worked out or not for the future.
Is he or she your equal? We sometimes cannot help who we fall in love with but it is important to find someone with the same goals, drive and integrity. Ask yourself, is he or she as motivated as yourself, do they have comparable education or life skills? When you find an equal this will be a person who can match you on several different levels. You will know if your partner has potential and drive, but if they don’t one partner will always be carrying the other and resentment will build up. This resentment then becomes the trip wire for the relationship to crash and burn.
Does your relationship uplift you? The sure sign that you are with the right person is if that person and the relationship you have with them uplifts and enhances your life. When you are both moving forward in a positive way within your relationship this becomes the true partnership. Real power can come out of a relationship that nurtures and uplifts each other.
Is there trust between you? Trust in a relationship takes time and nurturing, but without trust there can never really be love between the two of you. Trust is earned by openness and truth followed by actions. Following through on promises and being there physically and emotionally for your partner creates trust and a strong bond that will last the test of time.
When you see these signposts along the way, maybe it its time to turn the other way!
A red flag is a red flag…
Certain behaviors can become apparent from the very first few dates and sometimes it may take months for them to emerge. These bad behaviors are almost never fixable. Instead, they show you the true person behind the mask. Unfortunately, they often show up after the fun and romance period when you have become emotionally and physically involved .
Are they really and truly available? Availability takes many forms and you will have to ask yourself if your partner is available for you emotionally and physically. Are they attentive? Do they communicate and reach out to see how you are doing and are interested in your life. Or are they elusive, distant? Worse, they are in a relationship with someone else or could still be trolling dating apps. These things can never really be kept hidden and go a long way to erode the trust and love.
Do they follow through with words and deeds? If he or she says a lot and promises to do things that never happen, how can you depend on them? How can you trust your future to someone that has a problem following through with just the most simple promises? Are they just telling you what you want to hear to avoid taking responsibility? That is a warning that tells you that this behavior could bleed into all aspects of your love relationship.
What are the hidden things? Secrets and control go hand in hand and work together to keep their partner on an emotional roller-coaster. What is he or she hiding? Weird unexplained behavior, ghosting and cancelling at the last minute are signs that your love interest has another agenda separate from you. Coming on strong with “I can’t live without you” then blaming you for their flaky behavior is a classic control tactic. The floating “Ex” is another not so hidden thing and he or she that cannot let go of that person from the past shows that they are not ready to embrace a future with you.
These are a few of the road signs that appear as you stand at the crossroads of a relationship. To be able to move forward into a deeper commitment it is always best to embrace the positive. If the negative signs are still there in the early stages of the relationship imagine how difficult things would be if you moved forward with them still hanging around your neck?
No relationship is perfect, but the successful ones honor each partner equally and are built on mutual trust. From that trust comes true love and a solid bond that will last! If the relationship you are in now does, then it is time to stay. Ride it out though life’s challenges. But if you find yourselves at the crossroads in a relationship in which things are stalled and full of mistrust, it is time to go and let go so that the true and lasting love can find you.
Love and Light,