Here’s a quiz designed to reveal the strengths and weakness in your relationships with the men in your life. For each question, select one of the following responses:
A. Almost always B. Frequently C. Occasionally D. Rarely E. Almost never
Answer each question as honestly you can, choosing the response that applies to you most of the time. That means, don’t answer based on how you know you should behave, but on how you usually behave given in these circumstances.
1. When around a man that you are really like or attract to, you lost part of yourself by censoring your communications, seeking approval, sacrificing your needs or becoming much more self-conscious than usual?
2. Do you find yourself feeling responsible for the men in your life, and making sure they get done what they need to – eg: keeping an appointment, find their socks etc and in some cases paying bills on their behalf ?
3. Do you allow men to treat you in a way that you would never tolerate from a woman?
4. Do you use your sexuality to get your way with men by flirting, teasing or using body language?
5. Do you allow fear of how a man may react to prevent you from doing what you want to do or saying what you really feel around him? eg: you stop seeing our best girlfriend because he dislikes her; you give up a hobby because he thinks it is silly.
6. Do you feel resentful toward men for things they have done to you in the past, or for how they are treating you at present?
7. Do you act helpless, overwhelmed or confused around men to get love or attention or to avoid dealing with their anger toward you?
8. Do you feel that you receive all the respect and appreciation you deserve from the men in your life?
9. Do you always ask for what you want and need from the men you care about?
10. When around powerful men (boss, your father, authority figures), you feel relaxed and confident in yourself.
Now, add up your total score. For questions 1 through 7, give yourself the following points:
A. 2 points B. 4 points C. 6 points D. 8 points E. 10 points
For questions 1 through 7, give yourself the following points:
A. 10 points B. 8 points C. 6 points D. 4 points E. 2 points
80 – 100 points: CONGRATULATIONS! You are unusually lucky in your relationships with men. However I am sure that over the years your hard work on yourself and your relationship has paid off and you have learned how to be a powerful yet loving woman with the men in your life. You maintain a strong sense of yourself even when you are around men who are important to you and you know that good communication is essential for creating healthy and lasting relationship. To avoid future problems work on those areas in which you had a lower score.
60-79 points: YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN AREN’T TOO BAD BUT COULD STILL DO WITH SOME IMPROVEMENT IN SOME AREAS. However the good news is that most women fall into this category. There are some warning signs you need to pay attention to, so that in time bigger problems don’t erupt. Work on expressing yourself and your need more completely and avoid the six mistakes women make with men, discussed later. You deserve much more love than you are presently asking for.
40-59 points: SERIOUS TROUBLE HERE BUT NOT QUITE AN EMERGENCY CASE. You have some bad emotional habits that are keeping you from receiving the love and appreciation you deserve. You will never get the respect you want if you continue to give up your power to men, behave like a doormat and pretend everything is fine. It is time to make a change for the better for yourself. The first step is to be honest with yourself about how dissatisfied your really are.
39 points or below: EMERGENCY! YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN ARE UNHEALTHY, POSSIBILITY TO THE POINT OF YOU BEING PHYSICALLY OR VERBALLY ABUSE. You have been in pain and feel unloved for so long that you have probably forgotten what is feels like to be yourself around a man you really care about. You may not even know what a healthy relationship with a man is. It is time to take immediate corrective action but you cannot do it alone. Reach out to other women for help; find a caring and experienced therapist; join some support groups – Government agencies in your state for women of domestic violence.
THE 6 BIGGEST MISTAKES WOMEN MAKE WITH MEN
1. WOMEN ACT LIKE MOTHERS AND TEAT MEN LIKE CHILDREN.
2. WOMEN SACRIFICE WHO THEY ARE AND PUT THEMSELVES SECOND IN IMPORTANCE TO THE MAN THEY LOVE.
3. WOMEN FALL IN LOVE WITH A MAN’S POTENTIAL
4. WOMEN COVER UP THEIR EXCELLENT AND COMPETENCE.
5. WOMEN GIVE UP THEIR POWER. (Love Martyr Quiz)
6. WOMEN ACT LIKE LITTLE GIRLS TO GET WHAT THEY WANT FROM MEN.
All the best ESTHER