I am writing this article because there has been so many young adults that are lost in their purpose in life. Maybe it’s the fault of parents who in this generation tend to give more to our kids without them putting in the hard work that was expected of us in our time. In this lack of guidance that is not intentional by any means, we have failed to allow our kids to know the meaning of hard work and the joys of what comes from that. This younger generation has expectations that are giving them a sense of entitlement that we did not have growing up because of higher divorce rates and having to cope with blended families with several different personalities involved.
I have many thoughts on this and in really thinking about the answer to that I feel like since the example of our hard work has not motivated many young adults looking up to parents that encouraging our young adult kids is the most important thing we can do. It has got to the point where our kids are lost, they want so badly to be somebody, but through divorces and broken families they have lost a part of themselves in the aftermath in choosing one parent over another and not having stability to guide them to the most profound places they could be.
Having five children, four of blended family, I have come to realize that our children have struggled with identity and with self love. In doing so they have lowered their expectations of their futures and have taken the easy road of settling for lower paying jobs, not looking forward to future families with someone else, and have sacrificed happiness in playing in the pity party that they have come to know and relate too.
How do you guide a young adult that has come from a broken family and how do you motivate them to chase their dreams? That is something I have worked so hard to find an answer too. Between bedtime tears and giving wisdom to them through my own failures, I have tried to relate to them the importance of setting small term goals and listening to their inner intuition that God has given them. Yet it seems my words come upon deaf ears at times.
So I am writing this article in hopes of changing the direction of how young adults think and give them hope for a prosperous and happy future. Here are some things I feel like if you are struggling with as a young adult you should consider especially if you are at crossroads with decisions you have to make.
1. When you feel stuck in a rut, first off pray about it and second acknowledge where you are and start to write down some pros and cons of where you are in the moment to get an idea of where you would like to be.
2. Stop wasting the day complaining about how awful life because let’s be honest, life does not always change overnight without hard work and dedication but most of all setting goals.
3. Aim high. Stop thinking that you don’t deserve the best of what life has to offer, but most importantly…….know that God has a plan that is going to bring you to your full potential if you stop trying to control the outcome.
4. Stop the entitlement attitude that your parents owe you more because they put you through a divorce and unfortunately did not get along with the other parent. Parents don’t owe you anything but the ability to love you unconditionally and encourage you. To be your biggest fan!!
5. Give yourself a time frame to stay where you are and look for better things beyond that time with small daily baby steps. You would be surprised what you can accomplish in the time frame you set. Besides that it gives you something to look forward too. A sense of accomplishment that a parent cannot give you but that only you can give yourself.
6. Remember that life is not a cakewalk and that your parents did not get to where they are now overnight. That they worked hard and had disappointments just like you as young adults are having now.
7. Life is about seasons of change. God is growing you to the amazing person you are supposed to be. No one said life was going to be easy, but you are never given more than you can handle.
8. Be appreciative of your life and especially the blessing in having a job to help meet your financial goals as well as providing a life for yourself. To always want more just shows you will never be happy. Earning your way is a beautiful reward when it’s not handed to you.
9. Always consider your life as important. God did not wake you up today for you to be miserable and to be negative. Remember that negative breeds more negative. Surround yourself with people that are positive and encouraging.
10. Most important……you have to learn to love yourself first before anything because lack of self love brings things in your life that hinder you from being a better person. Not loving yourself hold you back from being your best! You cannot love another unless you know how to love yourself and the beautiful creation that God has set in you.
The key to life is being the best you that you can be and knowing that you were put in this world to make a difference and if you are not living up to your own expectations and setting some goals to get you there, then you are not being true to yourself and this will lead to failure and self pity.
I can tell you that even as a mother myself, I had my times of self doubt and disappointment in my own choices at a young age, but when all is said and done when you can lay your head on your pillow and say, “I have done my best today,” that this will bring about a positive energy in your life that will help you achieve all of your goals and then some. You may not be the richest person, the most famous person, or even liked by all, but you will have accomplished much by being true to yourself and having that faith to MOVE MOUNTAINS.