By Isabella: For nearly three decades I have counseled stars of stage and screen and throngs of people just like you, from every walk of life, every continent, country and belief. The common cord that runs through the majority of souls who seek my help is a lack of self-worth, self-respect and self-love.
When you ask someone why they don’t love themselves, they often can’t put their finger on one particular reason. When you ask them why they are so hard on themselves or why they allow others to dis-respect them, they rarely have an answer.
Many are unaware that they lack the same love for themselves that they are seeking for in a relationship. They often seek to fill the void they themselves cannot fill. The problem then becomes the law of attraction and attracting what you are verses what you want. Without self-love you also attract the drama of family, friends and foes that treat you badly, create drama or who hurl their own unhealed emotions upon you, the unhealed receiver.
I was working with a client today who has huge self-worth issues and has become really depressed because of the way her mother and two grown daughters treat her. She continues to try to fix them instead of fixing herself. Trying to fix the outside instead of working on the inside is futile and pointless. You cannot change others or even incrementally get them to understand your perspective about 99% of the time. You can however, change your reaction to them and you can heal the reasons you have a reaction to begin with. Blaming others for your problems is like blaming the sun for being hot. You have to look deep, explore your emotions and what triggers them. Then you can address those issues intelligently. Emotional intelligence is just as important as academic intelligence and social intelligence.
The more you dive into your triggers, the more you understand them. The way to keep people from pushing your buttons is to get rid of the buttons altogether. The more you evaluate and address your issues honestly, the quicker the veils lift. When you remove the weight of emotional veils, you free yourself to love greater and deeper than ever before. But it has to start with you being completely honest with yourself.
Loving yourself and respecting yourself leads to harmony, both internal and external. We tend to gravitate to the dysfunctional souls because it makes us feel better about ourselves but emotionally balanced people gravitate to those who are confident, self-assured and at peace with themselves.
Today I challenge you to take a hard look at your actions, your words, your hurts and slights and understand they are catalyst or springboards to an ever evolving you. The more you embrace the wounds, the quicker they integrate into a place of wellness. Don’t wallow in them, look at them and ask yourself it your wounds are helping or hurting your overall well-being. Then take a look at those wounds you use as excuses which keep you from that healthy relationship you hunger for or that successful career you’ve tried to capture. It comes down to this; “What you feel on the inside you wear on the outside.” Wear the cloak of self-love, self-respect, emotional intelligence and inner peace. It’s a choice.
If you would like to know more about healing your wounds, give me a call, I would love to help unleash the power within you.